Kids Today

Warning - Waaay off topic.

If you're close to my age, and especially if you grew up in the U.S. and in particular the rural Great Plains, this time of year always brought anticipation.  It was around now that the Sears and JC Penney Christmas Catalog, with pages and pages of wonderful toys to look at and dream about would arrive.

Well, both Sears and JC Penney are all but gone now.  And it's probably been close to 20 years or more since they sent out those massive 400+ page Christmas Catalogs.

But, there are still some companies that send out Christmas Catalogs.  I just recently received this years Cabela's catalog, and while I was  looking through it, I did thumb through the kids section.  And what caught my eye in the kids section?

A Spit Ball gun????  Fill a container with water, attach a roll of toilet paper, and shoot spitballs up to 30 feet.  

When I was a kid we had to make our spitballs the old fashioned way!  With real spit, and whatever paper we could find. If we were lucky we had a straw to shoot them through, if not, we had to throw them.  Kid's these days, they clearly don't know what it was like to rough it.  (does this mean I'm turning into one of those "get off my lawn you damn kids" old farts?). 

I guess it's nice to know we can still devote resources to this type of stuff with everything going on in the world.

And for the Pictures or it didn't happen crowd, here's a shot of page 76 of the BassPro/Cabela's catalog.

It does look pretty cool.  Good job to whoever designed it.

Something for those of you with grandkids to consider. Especially if you enjoy winding them up and then giving them back to their parents.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

40K Imperial Guard

 I realized the other day that I’m not entirely sure exactly what I have for various troops/armies laying around in various boxes, piles, and bags I thought the best way to sort them out would be to do a quick post with some photos and rambling comments.  Turns out in this case I had a lot more Infantry than I thought I did.

I decided to start with my long dormant GW Warhammer 40K Imperial Guard troops.  This was the first army I did when I ‘got back into’ wargaming sometime around 2000.  When I left the active duty Army in 1988 I figured my war gaming days were through.  Fortunately, at one of my Son’s Scout meetings they did a little something with war gaming figures (as I recall, the first exposure I had to formal rules with toy soldiers was through the Scout magazine, Boy’s Life I think it was called at the time).  Unfortunately, that launched him, and my credit card, onto the money draining path of Games Workshop in the late 1990’s.  On a positive, it was through the GW White Dwarf magazine that I saw an advertisement for a HMGS convention, (I think it was a joint convention in MD, but I don’t recall exactly - it didn't work out with my schedule) and the rest, is history.

 

In any event I have fond memories of helping him assemble and paint his Space Marines, and then his Lord of the Rings Orcs, and Drwaves.  Somewhere along the way I was seduced and end up buying a few Imperial Guard troops, and then a few more.  And then he gave me a Sentinel for Christmas.  And from there it snow balled.  But all good memories of quality time with my Son.  In fact the last time we talked part of the discussion was around his Tau forces.

 

As I said, I had just gotten back into the hobby when I painted these, so their a little rough, and for some strange reason I thought you should paint eyes… maybe because they were so much bigger than the 15mm Napoleonics I had last played with?  Honestly, WTH was I thinking trying to paint on eyes.  

 

Unless noted, all of the Infantry figures are the ‘old’ GW Cadian lead figures.  When they went to plastics, and changed the rules for the umptenth  time, I called it quits.  Maybe someday I'll find a new SciFi rule set and these will get out on the table again.

 

 First up, the crew served weapons.

A couple of Lascannons

Heavy Bolters

Mortars

Missile Launchers

And some Vehicles

Sentinels

Chimera APC

Basilisk Artillery

Leman Russ Tank

Elite Troops

Storm Troopers

Heavy Weapons

Plasma Guns

Melta Gun (I think)

Grenade Launchers

Infantry

Commanders/Leaders

Beauty first

with those crazy eyes you can be excused for looking at her chest or that sliver of leg she's showing instead of looking at her face

It can't be 40K without a chain sword

And the mandatory power fist

Radiomen

Odds and ends

Plastic missile launcher

Flamer armed Infantry, a couple of leaders, and another grenade launcher, all lead.  I found these after the photo shoot was done

More plastics 

That's it for the Sci-Fi Troops

Up next, Romans.

I had started this post in the 3^rd Quarter of 2020 and was finishing up the photos, when I received a phone call that no Parent should ever have to receive and I sincerely hope no one reading this ever does.  Given the memories that I associate with these figures I just couldn’t force myself to finish it at the time.  I’m now far enough along the healing process that the memories are welcome.  

 

1988 – 2020

 

You will always be my little boy

 

 

So much lead, so little time.

 

 

More unboxing

As I continue to work my way through some of the boxes I’ve been dragging around for decades, I find the occasion gem.  While the below rules are no where near a gem, what is a gem is what I found inside them.   Tucked away on some 5 x 7 index cards, were the ramblings of a college student outlining his plan for a modern day (at least at the time) ImagiNation, set somewhere on the West Coast of Africa.  

 

I had completely forgotten about ever doing this, but reading the notes brought a smile to my face.  I may just dust this off and take a ‘formal’ go at it.  Will see.  But as a teaser below are the nation names), and we have:  Wilhelmsland (the good pro West guys),  Gardenstan (pro East guys), and Rubbishlandia (evil Soviet lackey).

 

And speaking of Rubbish, as I recall, that’s what the below rules were.  But they served as a good protective cover for the early 1980’s ramblings of my first ImagiNation exercise.  Maybe it will finally come to fruition 40 years later… maybe.

 

So much lead, so little time.

Good Riddance 2020

 And don’t the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

 

I can honestly say this has been the worst year of my life.  More on that once I finish processing all of it.

Fortunately, the Czarina being the wonderful person she is, decided we both needed a break.  So this year we took a little different vacation for her birthday.

 

A belated Merry Christmas to everyone from Antigua and Barbuda!  I hope Santa brought you all the lead goodies you asked for.

 

 

And a Happy New year from Maine.  Somehow the pool doesn't look nearly as nice here as it did there.  And the 50+ degree difference in temperature is going to take a bit to readjust to.

The irregularly scheduled posting will resume at some point.

 

So much lead, so little time.

Meeting the Neighbors

 After listening to this late night neighbor for two years, I finally caught sight of him a week ago before the big snow.  He would have been almost impossible to spot but he was flapping his wings, which caught my eye.  He was about 125 Yards away in the tree line.

Shortly after taking this photo and putting the camera away he took off and had a little mid air altercation with a Falcon that must have been going after the same prey he was.  It was pretty awesome to watch their mid-air posturing, a lumbering Owl with it's massive wingspan and a nimble little Falcon.

Back to proper posting shortly.

So much lead, so little time.

The things we save

 Just a quick off topic post.

So, as 2020 continues to kick my backside I’ve been going through some boxes that probably haven’t been opened since I went off to the Army many, many years ago.  The last one I opened served up this little gem.   You might call it the grandfather of today’s 3D printers (at least for war gaming). 

 

What is it? Well, that my friends is Mattel’s Injector Western World set, circa 1968.  They also made a version that allowed fresh faced innocent kids to make plastic Hot Wheels cars at home as well.  

 

The outside of the box pretty much explains how it works. 

 

 

Essentailly you placed one of Mattel’s proprietary ‘Plastix’ cylinders into the injector.  Assembled the front and back of the aluminum molds, waited for the plastix to melt, and pushed down on the handled to inject the melted plastix into the mold. 

 

A package of Plastix cylinders still in the original, unopened blister pack  and some left overs.

And the actual injector

 

And the aluminum molds.  As I recall the pieces never fit together right.  Or maybe I've just never been able to assemble a model.

I found a few 50+ year old works in progress in the box as well.  This could be my first unfinished war game project, now that I think about it.

And the town, with a horse base and maybe part of a horse on the roof.

Note- no silly warnings about burns, disfigurement, or any other actual or perceived danger to protect the precious little snowflake operating the machine.  In the 60’s and 70’s kids were tough, and if they weren’t, well then natural selection took over.

 

Oh yea, I also found this monstrosity in the attic.  I’ve been trying unsuccessful to sell this to some sucker… I mean collector off and on for close to 40 years.  Fortuantely, I think I found a dealer locally that will take it off my hands for $5 – I just hope that means he’ll pay me the $5 and not the other way around.

Sorry for being off topic.

 

So much lead, so little time.

OFF TOPIC - Campaign Diplomacy

Sorry, this is a little off topic.

Well, our little Napoleonic ImagiNation campaign seems to have kicked off.  And of course, my peace loving (and rabbit obsessed) country of Fuddland has been the victim of foreign aggression.  For the entire sordid story you can follow this link  https://pancerni-fishtales.blogspot.com/2020/02/no-mutton-tonight.html  

A very sad tale.  Leave it to the S’Gottland scoundrels to cast their eyes towards our sheep.

In response to this hideous act, the Fuddland Foreign Minister, Grand Duke, I Canbe Bribedski, issued the following statement.

“The people of Fuddland are outraged by this blatant act of aggression perpetrated on our sovereign soil by the forces of  S’Gottland.  Clearly they were not expecting the ever-vigilant Cossack warriors of the Czar to blunt this invasion.   His Excellency the Czar of the all of the Fudds finds this recent rash of unprovoked violence by S’Gottland on her neighbors concerning.”   

Grand Duke Bribedski went on to state,  “I will be contacting my S’Gottland counterpart regarding financial compensation for the 73 Cossack arrows, and the 6 pine suppositories (lances) administered to the S’Gottland invaders while defending our territory. Additionally, once we have been compensated for the room and board cost  incurred by a certain S’Gottland officer who was detained while illegally crossing the border into Fuddland, we will be happy to discuss his eventual return to S’Gottland.”

On a more positive note, Fuddland announced that they will be opening an Embassy in Dahara.  The below is a painting showing the Ambassador and his escorts leaving the capital for their historic journey to Dahara.

In the lead are two companies of the Fuddland Diplomatic Guards, resplendent in their signature carrot plumes.  These stalwart fellows represent the finest of the Fuddland Guard/Grenadier corps.  Each member of the Diplomatic Guards is able to read and write, a rare skillset in Fuddland.  Additionally they have all been specially trained in ways to protect important personages.  While they all excel at planting bayonets in opponents chest, they also do double duty as embassy staff, cooks, clerks, etc.

Next in line we have the Ambassador and his aids, followed by a detachment from the Fuddland Guard Cossacks who will accompany the procession to the border with Dahara where Daharan forces can provide an escort, followed by the obligatory baggage train,  

And finally we have a disgraced dismounted Dragoon Regiment.  This Regiment is currently being punished for it’s abysmal performance  and failure to maintain the Fuddland standards for Cavalry in the last campaign season.  (seriously, they routed in every single game, usually upon first contact).  The Czar’s advisiors recommended that His Excellency reinstitute the age old Fuddland tradition of Decimation to make an example.  Fortunately for this unit, Czar Elmer is an enlightened ruler, and instead ordered that they be striped of their horses and forced to serve as Infantry for a six month period.  This unit will be leaving the procession before reaching the Dahara border as they return to their barracks and are reunited with their mounts in time for the next campaign season.  For their sake, I hope they have learned their lesson.

We now return to our regularly scheduled foolishness.

So much lead, so little time.

Building a World is Hard Work

Details, Details, Details, sheesh, this is like work or something.

It’s been a while. Work on the Imagination map has stalled due to real life issues.  

But first a digression. This weekend reminded me that time has a way of changing traditions.  Last Friday was the local Fireman’s Parade and Fair, and for the first time in 18 years we didn’t host a party.  The Czarina’s relatives came to visit us at the new Summer Palace, and the Parade/Fair happen at the Winter Palace.  I still was able to toil away on the grill, but instead of listening to fire engine sirens, I was listening to Turkey’s gobble in the valley.  Such is the price one must pay when one is the Czar.  (And I greatly prefer the 70 degree temperatures up north over the 90 degree temperature that greeted me this afternoon when I returned to CT).  

While work on the map has stalled, I started to think maybe I was getting the cart before the ox, so to speak.  While I had a vague idea of the type of Imaginations that would populate my world, or parallel world, or maybe Paratime world if you will, I hadn’t really fleshed them out.  

So while I was working the grill the other day I organized my thoughts, and below are the current ‘known’ Realms in the ‘world to be named at a latter date.’ Not very original, I know.  But it’s a start, and as always, subject to change.

The Great  Kingdom of Hos

Hos is one of the oldest Realms in the known world. Hos is ruled by the strange Lord Calvin.  Little is known of his background, other than ‘he’s not from around here’.  His speech, mannerisms, intellect and way of fighting clearly set him apart from the other rulers.

Lord Calvin has embraced the use of gunpowder weapons more so than any other ruler.  He can often be heard lecturing about how the future of warfare lies in gunpowder.

He is also a scholarly man, and early in his rein instituted a series of stone road construction projects, which gives Hos the best road network outside of the Molybdenum Empire on the southern coast of the continent.

Ehdan

Ehdan, one of the Northern most realms in the known world is ruled by Prince Talon.   When the Ehdan go to war, Prince Talon can always be found in the van of the army, with this massive 3 bladed sword making him easily identifiable.  The Ehdan’s are considered Barbarians and little better than animals by some, a view that is probably brought about by their disdain for heavy armor, their continued use of Chariots on the battle field, and their belief that ancient Sorcerer’s can be raised from the dead and used to influence battles by those with dark intentions.  

However, those who have fought or traded with the Ehdan’s know them to be both shrewd warriors and master negotiators.  

The Molybdenum Empire

The Molybdenum Empire could best be described as a fallen empire.  It is barely able to compete with the surrounding Fiefdoms. Molybdenum is currently ruled by the Dictator for Life,  Sirius Smackdownum.  Sirius has grand plans of being able to restore the glory of the Molybdenum Empire, at the expense of his neighbors of course.  He arrived at his current lofty position the old fashioned way, through military prowess advancing through the ranks combined with a good deal of assassination thrown in.  As such he is somewhat paranoid and absolutely ruthless.  

The Molybdenum Empire favors formations of dense heavy shock infantry, equipped with massive shields.

The Realm

The Realm, not exactly an original name for one’s Earldom, but it is home to Earl D’Greer.  Exactly which noble bestowed the title of Earl upon him is still a mystery, most think he purchased the title via an Alchemist running a buy your nobility scam. 

Rumors, at least those spread by the Earl, hold that he was a mighty warrior in his youth, which is hard to believe since today he could barely sit astride a horse, and the poor beast would surely have a sway back for the rest of it’s miserable life. Plus, it’s difficult to lead a charge when you have a Mead Mug constantly filling one of your hands. The Earl is as creative in his war fighting skills as he was in naming his realm. His preferred tactic is to send waves of cavalry and lightly armored Halberdiers at his opponent, headless of the loss of men and horses.  He despises firearms and cannon, seeing them as far to expensive to use.  

Aside from jokes about their corpulent ruler, the Realm is best known for their Cheese products, with their  ‘Moon Cheese’ being in wide demand especially among the superstitious Ehdan’s.

The Middle Kingdom

The Middle Kingdom lies in the middle of the known world (as you would expect).   The Middle Kingdom is ruled by Count Guilleme.  As with Earl D’Greer no knows who bestowed the title of Count on Guilleme.  The most commonly accepted theory is that the Count also purchased his title via an Alchemist running a buy your nobility scam. This has some credibility, as the Count and Earl have been life long enemies – each proclaiming the other to be a pretender to their title.  

Several years ago the Count lost an eye during a skirmish with forces of the Realm, and has pledge to see the Realm defeated and the Earl in chains before him.  The Middle Kingdom fields a mixed fighting force, and has recently embraced gunpowder weapons for their Skirmish troops.

So there's the rough outline of the Imaginations for now. 

Now I need to get back to working on the map.  And I promise, there will be photos in the next post.

So much lead, so little time.

NO EXCUSE

Wow, it has been a while hasn't it?  One whole year.

While I could offer a whole bunch of really good excuses, as we used to say the Army;  “The effective range of an excuse is 0 meters”. 

While I did manage to complete a few units last year, I haven't got around to taking any photos yet.  So, in the interim, I present the following quote attributed to Cameron Sawyer that I stumbled across while surfing the inter-webs last week.  I can't confirm the accuracy of this, but as the Czar, I approve of it, (facts do not concern the Czar).

"The Napoleonic Wars gave the French the word bistro as a reminder of the rude, conquering Russian officers who demanded quick service in French cafes. Bystro means quick in Russian. Russian, in turn, got sheramiz avat, meaning to beg. Hardly any Russian today knows it, but this word comes from the French phrase cher ami. The starving, freezing French soldiers, retreating in disarray after the defeat at Borodino, would knock at the doors of Russian farmhouses and implore the farmers for food, crying: cher ami!" - Cameron Sawyer

So much lead, so little time

RANDOM UNRELATED THOUGHTS

It’s been a while since the last post.  Painting continues, photos to follow shortly once I find the camera.  Below are some random thoughts since my last post and a bit of a rant.

D-DAY

First of, I failed to get around to doing a D-Day post last Wednesday.  As General Dwight D. Eisenhower said 68 years ago: 

"Soldiers, sailors and airmen of the allied expeditionary force: You are about to embark upon the great crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hope and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere are with you…”

A truly momentous undertaking, sadly, most of the survivors are now gone.  The last of 3 members of my extended family that took part in D-Day are now gone.  One hit the beaches, one parachuted in, and one flew a Glider in. 

I don't think the world adequately appreciates what these young men did 68 years ago.

On a much lighter note, as some of you know I work in downtown Manhattan, which means I get a good dose of the big apple craziness.  I take a certain perverse pleasure in observing the contradictions, and putting a Nebraska farm boy perspective on them.  I recently passed a battered, pale blue, Van with no windows, and big bold letters on the side proclaiming “NYC DEPT. OF MENTAL HYGIENE”.  Now maybe it’s just the quirky way my mind works, but when I think Mental, I think ‘Brain’, and when I think Hygiene I think “Washing”.  Put the two together and you get “NYC Department of Brain Washing”. 

Then I had this image of the memory implant machine/chair from the 1990’s movie Total Recall being housed in the back of the van and unsuspecting citizens being forced to have their thoughts modified and leaving the Van mumbling,  “20 oz. Soda is bad, Salt shakers are bad”.

This could explain a lot.  Now, move along, nothing to see here, move along.

I think with a little work this could get spun into an interesting background for a pulp fiction type of miniatures game.  Joe, you have pulp fictions rules, right?

This was the best photo I could find on line of the machine (from movielad.blogspot.com)

Zombies, OMG, WTF.  Forgive me for making light of a couple of really terrible incidents that happened in the ‘real world’.  But as a society how the hell did we devolve to this level?

As I’m sure everyone is aware the last week or so of news has been filled with stuff right out of a bad 1970’s Horror flick.  A person high on Bath Salts in FL eating the face of another man like a bad Zombie move.   The Baltimore, MD College student that killed his roommate and ate his heart and brain.  The Gay Canadian Porn Star Cannibal (some of this stuff you just can’t make up) that they finally caught in Germany.  And lastly, there was a female shoplifter in CT that took a bite out of a man’s bicep and spit the mouthful of flesh back in his face. 

Now I’m not really up on the whole Zombie thing.  Fortunately I have a couple of 20 something (kids) that work for me and over the last week they’ve tried to bring up to date.  So, I’m a little bit aware of the current Zombie ‘thing’ in the Movies, and the Television series, but WTF. 

Maybe this is the ZOMPOCOLYPSE?  This could be the excuse to start a new miniatures project?  Anybody know of any Zombie figure manufacturers (GW need not apply). 

And finally, protect yourself; learn the stages of Zombification (courtesy of Zombie Squad).

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

This is way off topic, but I have to pass along this gem of wisdom I received in a fortune cookie today.


“A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.”

This is so true it’s scary.