Return with us now to those golden days of yesteryear in the world of Outlandisha, for our next installment in the Outlandishian Chronicles.
I know it’s been a long time since we visited this land, so a quick summary follows. Our two main protagonists are Count William and the Earl D’Greer. They hated each other for decades and fought minor border scrimmages, recently the Count launched an all out assault that ended up with him controlling about ½ of the Earl’s lands. The Earl, despite his bluster has not managed a single battlefield victory, and realizing that he probably won’t, and having a hankering for a hunk of ham, has decided to launch a raid on one of the Count’s forward supply locations.
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I don’t have a go-to set of skirmish rules, so I’m going with D&D fifth edition, modified of course. They should work well for this era, I hope.
The cast of characters
The Earl’s raiders, mostly scum and bandits are commanded by Captain A. Noid, a loyal lacky of the Earl, who was tasked with this mission as punishment for his less than stellar performance on the battlefield.
The Count’s defenders are command by Captain TBD supported a mix of town guards, and soldiers who committed some infraction to warrant such a lowly assignment, sheep herders and laborers, a much more fragile group.
Slowly the raiders advanced, they knew the general location of the supply cache, and the stench from the pigs and sheep helped guide them through the dark. As the smell grew stronger each member of the party began to see shapes of guards, sheep, and wagons appear out of the gloom. Meanwhile, the guards were apparently even more inept than expected as not a one of them noticed the raiders approach.
The Raiders advanced in a rush on their unsuspecting victims.
Titus moved to the Wagon intending to attack the laborer but as he advanced Arnolt came into view and he opted to fire an arrow at him, to no effect, the darkness throwing off his range estimate. Melvon advanced on Boogerhook, swinging her blade and doing no damage. Grogg charged forward and took cover behind one of the sheep. Easie advanced on Cooper, swinging her Great Ax and doing considerable damage. Alvon advanced on Boogerhook and also missed. And Finally Captain A. Noid (he rolled the lowest initiatve roll of all the raiders) moved into contact with Cooper and finished him off with his Great Sword. First Blood to the Raiders, but not nearly as bloody as it should have been. Now that the element of surprised is lost, the defenders will be able to fight back in the next round.
For the second round all parties can act.
Captain TBD of the defenders advances cautiously. Laurel of the defenders, hearing the screams of his friend Boogerhook adanvaces toward his location, taking cover behind the pack mule. Titus of the raiders fires and arrow and hits Arnolt. Hardy (defender) advances on Captain A. Noid striking with his spear and hitting (rolled a natural 20 – critical hit). Arnolt (defender) fires an arrow at Titus, missing. Melvon (raider) swings at Boogerhook and misses, again. Grogg (raider) advances towards Laurel and hits. Easie (raider) moves around Titus to attack Hardy, and misses. Sargent Doh-Nuts (defender) advances towards Easie, swings his hammer and hits. Farmer Stu (defender) advances to defend the honor of his sheep. Alvon (raider) takes a swing at Boogerhook and misses (that’s the 4th time someone has missed boogerhook). Captain A. Noid (raider) swings at Hardy and hits, Hardy isn’t looking to hardy at the moment. Farmer John (defender) rushes to the pig stye. And lastly Boogerhook (defender) takes a swipe at Alvon and hits.
Still only one casualty so far, but a couple of defenders are looking rough.
Captain TBD (defender) moves into contact with Easie and hits with his great sword. Laurel (defender) hits Grogg. Titus (raider) drops his bow and charges into contact with Arnolt, hitting him with his sword. Hardy (defender) stabs at Easie with his spear, finishing her off. Arnolt (defender) draws his sword and engages Titus, hitting him. Melvon (raider) swings at Boogerhook and misses. Grogg (raider) swings at Laurel and hits. Sargeant Doh-Nuts (defender) moves into contact with Captain A. Noid and hits with his hammer. Farmer Stu (defender) moves into contact with Titus and stabs him with his pitchfork. Alvon (raider) swings at Boogerhook and actually hits! (Boogerhook had 5 attacks miss him before taking his first hit, which due to poor die rolling was little more than a scratch). Captain A. Noid (raider) swings at Hardy and misses. Farmer John (defender) moves into contact with Grogg and misses. Boogerhook (defender) attacks Alvon and hits.
Captain TBD (defender) moved into contact with Captain A. Noid and whiffed, nearly dropping his sword as he missed by a mile. Laurel (defender) thrust his spear at Grogg, dropping him to his knees. Titus (raider) swings at Farmer Stu and his pesky pitchfork and connects, as Farmer Stu looks a little wobbly. Hardy (defender) strikes at Captain A. Noid and misses. Arnolt (defender) swings at Titus and connects. Melvon (Raider) swings at Boogerhook and misses (again). Sargeant Doh-Nuts (defender) swings his hammer at Captain A. Noid which harmlessly passes through open air. Farmer Stu’s (defender) pitchf ork clatters harmlessly against Titus’ armor. Buggerhook (defender) misses Alvon by a country mile.
Captain TBD (defender) again swings at Captain A. Noid, finally getting a fairly solid hit. Laurel (defender) moves into contact with Alvon to try to take the pressure off Boogerhook, missing badly. Titus (raider) hits Arnolt, finally finishing him off. Hardy (defender) swings and misses Captain A. Noid. Melvon (raider) hits Boogerhook whose knees start to buckle but then seem to find the strength to remain upright. Sergeant Doh-Nuts takes another swing at Captain A. Noid, and misses again. Farmer Stu (defender) and his trust pitch fork land a hit on Titus. Alvon (raider) again fails to hit Boogerhook. Captain TBD (raider) attempts to finish off Hardy and misses. Farmer John (defender) moves into contact with Malvon and hits. Boogerhook (defender) swings at Malvon and hits, finishing her off.
Captain TBD (defender) hits Captain A. Noid. Laurel (defender) finishes off Alvon. Titus (raider) finally finishes off pesky farmer Stu and realizing the he and Captain A. Noid are the only surviving raiders he stealthily moves to hid amongst the crates of supplies. Hardy (defender) gets a solid spear strike and Captain A. Noid. Sergeant Doh-Nuts misses, again. Captain A. Noid (raider) finishes off Hardy, breaking the encirclement and giving him an escape route to ‘run away’- as he moved out of combat both Sergeant Doh-Nuts and Captain TBD had opportunity attacks, which they both failed. Farmer John and Boogerhook were busy going through the pockets of the deceased Alvon and Malvon.
Captain A. Noid continued to run off as fast as his plate armor would allow him to. The surviving defenders all gave pursuit. Titus managed to remain undetected as the defenders ran past him (he rolled a natural 20).
Once Titus was reasonably sure it was safe, he crept out of his hiding spot and began loading up the wagon with livestock and secured the pack mule. Surely the Earl will reward him well for actually having success?
Well, the Earl’s forces pulled it off. I actually didn’t expect it to be that close. While the defenders had more troops, most of them only had 6 -9 Hit points, so either Captain A. Noid, or Titus should have been able to dispatch them with just one hit… but not when they rolled 1’s and 2’s for damage. The raiders had the advantage in hit points, with Titus alone having 50 and Captain A. Noid having 47. I think the inability of either Melvon or Alvon to hit Boogerhook in the first 2 rounds also played a big part in slowing down the raiders and making this much closer than I expected. Anyway, it was a nice diversion, and gave me an excuse to actually use the pigsty.
Maybe the Earl has found a new tactic? He is at heart, a thief anyway.
So much lead, so little time.
Quite the rumble, maybe the Earl should nurse his forces in this manner.
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