The Earl Strikes Back

 Return with us now to those golden days of yesteryear for another installment of foolishness in the Outlandishian Chronicles

Count William had just sat down to enjoy a nice snack of cheese and wine when suddenly the flap to his tent was flung open.  “Billy!  Billy!, Errr… I mean Count William, Sire.  Our Scouts report that the Earl’s forces are on the march, and will be here within 2 hours” blustered his trusted lacky Curt the Lesser.  

 

“Calm yourself,” stated the Earl, “I’m sure Grand Captain Cuss-a-lot and his Cavalry will see them off again.  Send orders to muster the troop’s.  I’m surprised the old fraud was willing to try to attack again so soon.”

 

As the Earl’s forces approached the Count’s position, the Count couldn’t help feeling something seemed off with the Earl’s formation.  All of the Earl’s Cavalry was on his left flank which was odd as the Earl almost always deployed at least a token force of cavalry on each flank. “Maybe the old fraud is trying something new after 3 decades of failure,” muttered the Count as he noted that Grand Captain Cuss-a-lot seeing the deployment had gathered all of the Count’s Cavalry to oppose them.

 

The Count was still trying to determine just what the Earl was up to when suddenly all of the Earl’s Cavalry charged forward, careful to stay out of the firing arc of the Count’s artillery and then came to a sudden stop.  The Earl’s Cavalry then all dismounted walked forward several paces and turned their back to the Count’s Cavalry.  On command each trooper dropped his pantaloons, and bent over mooning the Count’s Cavalry.  They then calmly remounted and extended each arm up into the air, creating a fist, and slowly raising their middle finger began shouting taunts.

 

At this point the Count finally figure out what had been bothering him, none of the Earl’s Cavalry were wearing armor, or carrying lances, most didn’t even have swords. The Count was just calling over an orderly to take a dispatch to Grand Captain Cuss-a-lot when we saw his entire Cavalry command plod forward, while the Earl’s cavalry took off to the East at a 90 degree angle to the battle lines, with the Count’s entire Cavalry command in pursuit.

 

“Well, looks like we’ll have to do this the hard way.  I hope my Infantry remember how to use a spear”, sighed the Count as he picked up his helm and headed out to the lines.

 

Across the battle field, the Mercenary commander Bigus Dickus turned to his aid and said, “so far, so good.  My plan seems to be working.  Now if I can keep that dimwit the Earl from doing anything stupid, this should be a quick victory.”

 

And, the stage is set – let’s see if the Earl can actually win one for a change.

 

Initial deployment, The Earl's forces to the right, the Count's forces to the left

 

I'm not saying the Earl is desperate for a win, but... he was seen doing this

The Count won the initiative roll by 2, allowing the Earl to go first.  The Earl turned no usable cards.  The count turned one usable card, an Engine of War Reload, and promptly fired at the Earl’s new Pike Block at long range, winning by 9 and inflicting a 2 stand loss.

 

The second initiative was a tie, shuffle the decks and start over.  (as an aside I checked and the Earl’s next card would have been a move one command group.  Such is the fickle nature of the dice.

 

After shuffling the decks, the Count won the 3^rd initiative by 2 again, allowing the Earl to move first.  Both sides failed to turn any cards that could be used.

 

The 4^th initiative roll was… a tie.  Shuffle the Decks.  (again, I checked both decks and the Earl’s next card would have been a Move card – he apparently didn’t make proper sacrifice to the dice gods).

 

After shuffling the decks, again, the Count won by 5, letting the Earl go first.  The Earl finally turned a Move One Command Card, rolling up one move segment.  The Earl wisely opted to move the Command of Bigus Dickus which included the Pike Block.

The 6^th initiative roll the Earl win by 6.  Finally, some action.  Predictably, the Earl failed to turn any useful cards.  The Count turned one useful card, an Engines of War reload, and fired at the Pike Block, inflicting a one stand loss.

 

The Count won the 7^th initiative by 2, the Earl went first turning another Move 1 Command card, and rolled a one segment move.  He again opted to move the Command of Bigus Dickus.  The Count turned the Engines of War Reload card and fired at the advancing Pike Block for no effect.

 

The battlefield after 2 Move 1 Command cards (each for one move segment) by the Earl.  At this rate the winter snows will be falling before they two sides get into contact.

 

The Earl won the 8^th initiative by 5, but neither side managed to turn any useful cards.

 

The 9^th initiative saw the Earl finally turn a Move card with each of his commands rolling for 1 move segment.  Not to be out down, the Count also turned a Move card, opting to move part of his (left flank) command under his trusted lacky Curt The Lesser in an attempt to threaten the flank of the advancing Pike Block.

 

Finally, the Earl's right flank gets to move

 

The 10^th initiative was won by the Count, who turned a Move card.  Opting to only move the command of Curt The Lesser, who rolled up two move segments, which put one of his spearmen units in contact with one of the Earl’s Swordsmen units.  The Earl’s Heavy Crossbowmen fired at the Spearmen as the advanced to no effect.  The Earl turned no useful cards.

The progress so far, looking West.  The Count's forces on the right, the Earl's on the left.
 

Close up view of the action, looking East this time, with better lighting.  The arrows to the front of the Crossbowmen indicated that the Earl's unit has fired and is unloaded.  The Earl appears to still be praying out there in no-mans-land.  Someone must have forgotten to move him.

 

The 11th initiative roll was… another tie (that’s 3 if you’re counting).  Shuffle the decks.

 

The Count won the 12^th initiative roll by 5. He turned  a Move One Command card, rolling up two move segments which he used to initiate mele against the Earl’s Sword unit causing a one stand loss and forcing the swordsmen back 3” in a disordered status.  The Counts other unit of Spearmen moved forward one segment and then used their last move segment to manueuver turning 90 degrees to threaten the flank of the Earl’s other Sword unit.  And finally the Arquebusier of the command advanced one segment and used the last segment to maneuver 45 degree to get an angle on the Pike Block.   The Earl turned a missile reload card and his Heavy Crossbowmen dutifully reloaded and fired at the Count’s Spearmen inflicting a one stand loss on the Spearmen.

 

Action on the Count's left flank heats up.  The Count's unit of spearmen with their back to the camera have one stand loss, the camera angle is blocking the view of the rock to signify the stand loss.  The Earl's swordsmen at the back of the action have a one stand loss as signified by the rock and are disordered as signified by the pig.

 

The 13^th initiative was won by the Count who turned an Engines of War Reload card and fired at the Pike Block, winning by 8 and inflicting a 2 stand loss.  The Pike Block is looking a little shaky and has lived up to my expectations of it being a cannon ball catcher.  The Earl failed to turn any useful cards.

 

The 14^th initiative also failed to provide either side with any useful cards.

 

The 15^th initiative was… a Tie!  (That’s number 4).  Shuffle the decks.

 

The Earl won the 16^th initiative by 7 and went first.  The first Card he turned was a Move card with the command of Bigus Dickus rolling up one move segment.  The Heavy Crossbow and Longbowmen on the Earl’s left flank advanced, stopped and the crossbowmen fired at the Count’s Spearmen, missing completely.  The Longbowmen behind them loosed a volley of overhead fire but failed to cause any loss of stands. On the Earl’s right flank the command of Wrong-Way-Ray failed to move (he rolled a “1”).

 

The Earl's main assault is still not in contact.  This is taking entirely too long and probably won't end well.

The next card was a Missile Reload, surely this time the crossbow and longbowmen will score a hit… but sadly – not.  The Heavy Crossbow unit attached to Wrong-Way-Ray’s command reloaded and fired, inflicting a one stand loss on the Count’s Spearmen (They must have spent less time in the Tavern and more on the practice range).

 

Another Move Card for the Earl, with each of his commands getting one move segment.  Wrong-Way-Ray on the Earl’s right flank moves his fresh unit of Spearmen into contact with the Count’s battered and unformed spearmen but is unable to initiate melee having only one move segment available.  Meanwhile his other unit of Swordsmen side step to be on the flank of Count’s untouched Spearmen.  The Crossbowmen stand steady praying for another reload card. 

On the Earl’s left flank the Command of Bigus Dickus moves forwards with the battered Pikes closing on the Counts Guns, which fire as they close.  The die roll was a 12 to 1, the Pike units loss 2 more stands bringing them to 7 stands lost, and are destroyed (Pike stands are destroyed after 6 stand loss).  But they did their job as the rest of the units in the command are unharmed and closing into contact.  The Legions advance on the arqubusiers who fire, inflicting a 2 stand loss. The remaining legionnaires throw their pilum and fail to cause a loss.  The other unit of legionaries advance on the Counts Spearmen and launch their Pilum also failing to cause a hit.  A unit of the Earl’s Spearmen advance and make contact with the Counts Halberdiers, the Archers and Crossbowmen side step, and the remaining unit of the Earl’s Spearmen advance.

Carnage galore

And when the smoke from the Guns clears... all that is left of the Pike Block is a red smear and some dented shards of armor.

 

There were no other useful cards in the Earl’s initiative… a melee card sure would have been nice.

 

The Count’s 16^th initiative started with a Move 1 Command card, and elected to move his right flank command, who rolled up 3 move segments!  The Count’s Spearmen move into the flank of the Earl’s Swordsmen for 1 stand loss.  The Arquebus maneuver 45 degrees, advance and fire on the flank of the legionnaire’s, causing no damage.  The Halberds advance into contact with the Heavy Crossbowmen  but have no movement segments left to initiate melee.

The Count’s next card is a Leadership card and he manages to rally one Spearmen unit.  

Next was a maneuver card which saw a unit of spearmen change facing.

This was followed by a Melee card – ouch!.  On the Count’s left flank The Halberd’s  melee the Crossbow unit inflicting a 2 stand loss, the crossbowmen roll was tripled, so they routed.  On the Count’s right flank the melee card is used by the Count’s Pike unit to melee the Spearmen to their front resulting in no lost stands, but the Spearmen were Disordered and remained in contact.

The next card turned was a Move Card.  Wrong-way-Ray on the Count’s left flank rolled up 2 move segments.  The Spearmen use one move segment to close with the Swordsmen and the second to initiate melee, winning by 7 they inflict a 2 stand loss, and rout (the Count’s roll doubled the Earl’s roll).  

On the Count’s right flank, Captain TBD also rolled up 2 move segments.  The Halberd’s already in contact initiate melee with the Earl’s Spearmen causing a one stand loss to the Spearmen who rout having already been disordered and losing a melee.  The Count’s Pike unit shifted to the right, and the Count’s Spearmen advance into the legion with one segment, and initiate melee with the second segment, the legion losses on a roll of 8 -3, taking a one stand loss, but since doubled they also rout.

Due to technical difficulties the photos from the above action were lost.  

At this point I called the battle as a win (again) for the Count.  The Earl was out of moral chips and had already paid the Count 3 extra chips.

 

The battlefield at the end.

The Earl's view of his right flank as his routing units come streaming back towards him.

A Vulture's eye view of the Earl's left flank.

Well, I think that pretty much does it for the Earl.  I'm not sure he'll recover from this loss. I'll have to consult the dice of woe and see what happens next.  The Count may be adding considerably to his holdings.  Honestly, the Earl couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag.  

It took forever for the Earl to close the distance.  Maybe next time I’ll start them 24” or 18” apart and give any artillery D4-1 long range shots to simulate the artillery softening up the opposition as the two sides close.  Thoughts?

I expected the Pike Block to be a cannonball magnet.  But I thought they’d close the distance faster and have enough stands left to make a credible threat, I don’t think the Earl rolled more than 1 move segment for any of his commands.  And the number of tie initiative rolls resulting in reshuffling the deck didn’t benefit the Earl either.

And I have a general question for the 2 or 3 people who may actually read this.  For the Battle Reports with the Piquet style rules, do you prefer to have it broken down into initiative sections, or would you just prefer a total narrative with no mention of initiative or cards?

So much lead, so little time.