While I could offer a whole bunch of really good excuses, as
we used to say the Army; “The effective
range of an excuse is 0 meters”.
"The Napoleonic Wars gave the French the
word bistro as a reminder of the rude, conquering Russian officers who
demanded quick service in French cafes. Bystro means quick in Russian.
Russian, in turn, got sheramiz avat, meaning to beg. Hardly any Russian
today knows it, but this word comes from the French phrase cher ami. The
starving, freezing French soldiers, retreating in disarray after the defeat at
Borodino, would knock at the doors of Russian farmhouses and implore the
farmers for food, crying: cher ami!" - Cameron Sawyer
So much lead, so little time